Nathaniel born at 33 weeks

On June 14th, 2016 at 16+5 weeks pregnant with my second child I awoke from an afternoon nap and headed to the toilet on my way I felt a huge gush of Fluid and immediately realised my waters had broken as they had broken on their own with my first child as well.

I called L&D and was asked if I had wet myself, as I was very early to have broken waters I insisted that my waters had broken and was then told to call my GP by this point it was around 5 pm in the evening I had a doctors appointment booked for around an hour later just so someone would see me, my appointment ran nearly an hour late and I was finally seen around 7 pm and was told by a doctor that I should have gone straight to hospital and to go there so I finally did and was finally seen by a midwife around 4 hours after my waters broke which was very distressing as second labors I heard were much quicker than firsts and did not know what was happening. I was given a speculum and ultrasound and told there was no fluid and there wasn't a good outcome for my baby so was left on a table lead flat for an hour to see if any more fluid would leak out which it did not. I was then given a room to stay in overnight as they needed to observe me for signs of infection and labor, nothing happened over night and I felt fine with no visible leaking so was scanned again in the morning and told by a doctor that it's highly likely I could go into labor and miscarry within the next two weeks but that I could go on and have a normal pregnancy but that they just didn’t know what was going to happen to me.

I was released from hospital that same morning and the only advice I was given was to return if I filled more than two sanitary pads filled with blood, nothing about what not to do to avoid infection luckily I have a nurse for a mother so was lucky to have someone to give me the do’s and don'ts to help myself, information that I was not receiving anywhere else.

I stayed in bed for the following week just waiting for something to happen I had no sign of fluid this entire time but managed to do some research and that’s when I came across the little heartbeats website I then waited until a fetal medicine appointment I had booked for me came 6 days later, At the appointment the baby looked healthy and my fluid had risen to 2.6cm from none which gave my midwife some hope for me he believed that fluid levels cannot increase and reseal that he had never seen it in his career personally but that at the moment that’s what it looked like was happening. He also said my placenta was very low lying but that he was not concerned about my placenta, I was told to carry on my life as normal that there were no restrictions however I was not convinced by these words and I stayed on bed rest and returned 2 weeks later to find my fluid had risen a little more to 3.4cm which made me start to be hopeful but when I left the hospital that day my waters broke again while out shopping for the first time since they first ruptured I was 19+4 weeks and when I phoned the hospital in panic they told me I was not 20 weeks so they would not take me into L&D and that there’s nothing they would do as I had already had an ultrasound that day but just to look out for signs of infection e.g temperature etc but once again no mention of no sex or baths danger of sepsis, public toilets this concerned me that I still was not told the danger of living with broken waters.

At 21 weeks I started losing blood old and new very lightly and grew very worried that I was miscarrying so I phoned the hospital and was taken into L&D for observations which I had done and was told that the bleeding must be from having a very low lying placenta and gave me antibiotics for the first time incase of infection but was never scanned…

At 23+4 weeks pregnant I returned to my fetal medicine midwife for my appointment which I had waited a whole month for so no one had checked my baby in that long apart from on a Doppler he looked at my ultrasound in about 20 seconds he turned it off and told me to go next door when I was waiting he came into the room with another midwife and told me that I had no fluid again and that it was looking very very bleak. I said I had been leaking on and off since he had last seen me so I asked for steroids to help his lungs and was told that steroid wouldn’t help my baby because he would have no lungs but I would have to ask my OB in one months time. (at this time I didn’t even know if I could stay pregnant another month) He also did not state that he was concerned by my low lying placenta. This all made me grow rage because lungs cannot be seen in ultrasounds so to be told by a medical ‘professional’ that my baby would not have lungs and his chances were extremely small even if he was born at term made me very angry.

There was no compassion or sensitivity to my situation he then went on to say that if I was not terminating he was going to hand me back to my obstetrics care. Immediately I was gobsmacked because I was offered no support with such devastating words and then felt like I was brushed off to go home and wait for my baby to die… I was in a lot of distress after being told such bad news just a few short days before my aim being to stay pregnant until viability at 24 weeks.

Two days later I visited my midwife and told her what had happened she said it was within my right to change my medical care and hospital, which I did and ended up at St.Michaels Hospital in Bristol for the remainder of my care.

I then put myself on complete bed rest I didn’t go outside and my daughter was put into full-time child care I took high levels of vitamin c and drank a pint of coconut water every day I was then seen by my new obstetrician 3 weeks later and was shown to have Grade 4 placenta previa and 10.8cm of Amniotic fluid surrounding my baby. I was then 26+4 weeks pregnant and given a 4 out of 5 chance of healthy lung development and the high chance of cesarian section due to my placenta being in a dangerous location and that I would be admitted to hospital if I start haemorrhaging.

This was a dramatic difference to the practically no chance of survival I was given just 3 weeks prior and now I had the likelihood of getting to meet my baby but was also haunted by the thought that if I had terminated would have myself and my baby both died together because my placenta would have been in the way for delivery and was told there was no concern from a specialist Fetal midwife and obstetrician. I am so glad I held on for a second opinion it may have saved both of our lives.

I returned every two weeks for monitoring and scans to my new hospital and ended up with a wonderful understanding Obstetrician, I still was not given steroids but was told I would receive them if labour was imminent. but was allowed to come in every day if I wanted but felt I was doing everything I could for myself at home.

At 30+4 weeks pregnant I woke up and started hemorrhaging I was alone and my daughter was asleep next door I called my mum and then an ambulance and was taken to hospital luckily my bleeding had stopped a lot by the time I had arrived so after 24 hours in L&D I was taken up to the ward during the first 24 hours I was finally given my first round of steroids and again the next day this really out my mind at ease and gave me great comfort.

I was told if I had not bled for 48 after my last bleed I would be allowed home but every time I went to go home I would bleed once I had my third big bleed I was told I would not be going home the words I did not want to hear… I was missing my two year old and was in the hospital for my Birthday which was very hard to live with. At around 31 weeks a week being in hospital I had a cannula put straight through the nerve in my left hand I’m now in pain every day as magnesium infusions were then put through the same cannula causing me a lot of pain… 2 more weeks past in Hospital and on my fifth hemorrhage at 33+1 weeks it would not stop I was bleeding out and contracting there was a lot of panic and rushing around I was prepped for surgery and was losing a lot of blood quiet quickly I cant explain the emotion you feel when someone looks at you gripping your hand like your going to die… they couldn’t put my epidural in or get lines in my arteries because I’m so small, my blood took around two hours to get to me so I was bleeding waiting for my blood before they could take my baby out…

During surgery I gave permission for my blood to be recirculated back into my body because it would have been better for me I’m very underweight and was lucky to have not had a cardiac arrest for the amount of blood I had lost.

At 2:29 pm on October 7th, 2016 at 33+1 weeks I heard the sweetest cry I had ever heard. It had been the hardest 16 weeks and 4 days of my life but my baby boy was born with lungs and that’s all I cared about he weighed 4lb 4oz. He was put onto CPAP and oxygen for a few hours he was then transferred away to another hospital because NICU was full up but I was told that he was the best a 33 weeker could be. We were both treated for suspected sepsis and I was found to also have placenta accreta and was told I was very lucky to be alive and to not to have any more children. Nathaniel spent 15 days in NICU He needed phototherapy and glucose drips for his blood sugar and was released home with no help or support needed on October 22nd, 2016.

However he nearly died in November when his lungs collapsed from a viral infection but this was to do with his prematurity, not PPROM and he is a happy healthy baby again now. I now suffer from PTSD and attend counselling. My relationship also broke down during the experience.

It is not easy to live through but it is worth it in the end.

Medical Professionals might be against us but we should all trust our instincts I did and now I have a wonderful child!